I never could’ve imagined what one Mom, Lauren Warner, learned from sipping lemonade.  It’s the big lesson; the biggest.  And not surprisingly, it came from the littlest of teachers.  Take a look.

There’s a tendency to think that Father’s Day should be about ties and after-shave and lawn mowers.  And why not?  I have no problem with any of these gifts and men do need them—well, maybe not everyone needs a lawn mower.  But I love the idea of celebrating Dads and Moms.  I’ll miss my Dad on Father’s Day this year and for as long as I live.  I loved celebrating him when he was alive.

But there’s something about Father’s day that has always bothered me:  it’s the idea that Dad’s are all about the outdoors and sports and being tough but not about relationships and tenderness and love.  I’m not sure that generalization is fair, but I feel it a lot.  Men just aren’t supposed to be the kind of tough that includes tender.  When it comes to discussing things like pregnancy and birth and childhood, the conversation is left to women.  A man’s role?  To stay out of it.

But I sometimes wish we could have a Father’s Day discussion about how to get Dad’s into the work of creating a society where every mother and every father and every child was supported in affirming the goodness of all life.  I wonder what it would look like if we asked Dads to be part of the work of building communities where every family felt that their child was welcomed and valued and cherished.

I like to think Dads could be part of a “choose life” agenda—to be “life coaches” in the broadest sense.  What might it involve?  What would it look like for pediatricians offices to have “life coach” volunteers who included men who are ready to support moms and dads who are struggling to adjust to the news that their child will be different in some way? For child care centers to have “life coach” specialists who include men who know and value the diversity of children’s needs and happily inform parents that their children with differences are wanted and needed?  For both male and female health care professionals to focus as much on care as on diagnosis and cure?  For both men and women to affirm the ways in which vulnerability and love; grit and bravery; hope and acceptance guide our deepest aspirations and longings as individuals, as citizens, as people who believe in the dignity of life?  For Dads to be people who make children feel safe enough to be vulnerable?

I’m not smart enough to know all these answers.  But I am open enough to try to listen to Moms like Lauren Warner and to do my best to follow her guidance wherever it leads.  At the simplest level, I believe she will lead me closer to being fully present to my own children, fully open to the children of others, to being fully alive.

And that’s a goal worth choosing for me—as a Dad.

-T

“Civil War”
“Refugees”
“Human tragedy”
“Unrest”

Just today the United Nations presented the biggest financing appeal in its’ history, asking for $5 billion dollars in humanitarian aid for Syria to help with the millions of people affected by its’ civil war and to contain the mounting pressures on surrounding nations overwhelmed by Syrian refugees flooding across borders.

In times of desperation, turmoil, and darkness it is nearly impossible, or at best foolhardy, to seek beacons of light or reasons for hope.  Yet today, there is real hope in Syria.  There is hope because of a different sort of word than what is returned in your internet search of “Syria.”  There is hope today in Syria because as long as this word exists, hope will be everlasting and ultimately drive out the darkness:

“Love”

Ghassan noticed Azhar in 2010 at their first team gathering for swim practice in preparation for the 7th Special Olympics Middle East North Africa (MENA) Regional Games held in Damascus, Syria.  Despite his great skill in swimming, he was not able to give all he had that day. He knew he could do better, but the thought of Azhar’s sky blue eyes distracted him.

Day after day, Ghassan’s feelings towards Azhar grew stronger. She felt the same way. Ghassan once missed two days of practice, when he showed up the third day, Azhar’s joy was obvious. That is when Ghassan realized that their feelings for each other were mutual.

They fell in love thru the on-going activities provided by Special Olympics Syria for their athletes. Their days consisted of swimming practice in the morning, then Syrian singing and dancing in the evening. One day, they realized they couldn’t live without each other.

Their families had been aware of the relationship, thinking it was only a temporary crush that would be over soon. However, with Ghassan and Azhar, their teammates and friends knew that it was real love.

When Ghassan won 2 gold medals in the 2010 Special Olympics MENA Regional Games (Azhar won a bronze medal), he gave her his medals, considering it an engagement present.

Following the Regional Games, Ghassan asked his father to go with him to Azhar’s house to ask for her hand. The families readily agreed and an engagement ceremony was held. Azhar wore a beautiful wedding band while Syrian folk music and dancing surrounded she and Ghassan.

As their bond grew, they decided to live together.  This year, they were married.

Ghassan and Azhar wed in a small ceremony hosted by the two families and their close friends.  One of their favorite activities is to take out photos from all of their competitions over the years.  Inevitably they linger over the photos from the 2010 Regional Games in Damascus as they recall the memories of where their love was born.

In those memories, lay hope for a nation.

Ghassan and Azhar at their wedding ceremony.

- T

This year, for the first time in Alaska our Special Olympics Unified School Track Program was fully integrated with their high school track team.  Through our partnership with the Alaska Schools Activities Association our Unified statewide school teams trained and competed on the school track team.  In addition, our high school athletes had to meet all of the requirements to qualify for the high school state finals.  Below is a letter we received from a parent today whose son made it to the state high school finals.

My son Gilleon just had the best weekend of his life. For the first time he didn’t mind having Autism, but more important he felt good about himself. He called me from the meet and said “I feel spectacular”.

For the past three years my son has been an angry suicidal young man. I have been so afraid of losing him. He is high enough functioning he is usually the odd man out, not fitting into any group. Worst part is he knows it. Bullied for most of his school career he does not trust people, especially teachers and students. When I made him go out for Special  Olympics track, I never dreamed he would have this opportunity. I just prayed that with a bit of pushing from me and patience from the coaches he would get to feel a bit of accomplishment. I wanted him to find success in his efforts, feel good about himself even if just for a moment.

The hardest thing to do was send him to the meet this weekend alone. But he wanted to be a part of the team, he wanted to be like everyone else. I know Gill isn’t like everyone else, so does he. But this weekend, that was ok. He had autism and was part of the team, it didn’t have to be either or.  He didn’t just accomplish, he succeeded. This is the happiest I have seen him in a very long time. The best thing aside from his smile to come from these past few weeks, Gill has not talked about hating himself. That self loathing script he has been reciting for 3 years has been silenced. That is a gift I can never repay.

Please forward to all the Special Olympics Unified coaches, my heartfelt thank you. What you may not realize, is you may have helped save his life. We have been making changes, adding meds, therapies you name it to try and bringing him back from this ledge he has been on. But the boost he has gotten from being accepted as part of your team, feeling accepted and supported, and winning… all the meds and therapies have not been able to accomplish that.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You.

Fast forward to May 15 – that is when Mr Jean-Louis Iba, President of Lions Club in Abengourou, Cote d’Ivoire presented a new pair of eye glasses to Yao. Since lenses were not able to be produced at the event in South Africa and Yao’s remote location provided a challenge to reaching him, it took several months to get Yao his new free eyeglasses, but it was well worth the wait. Yao and his uncle, Mr. Raphael NGuessan, travelled from his home village for a Special Olympics Unity Football Match on the playground of the Chateau Primary School of Abengourou and received his new eyewear.

A smiling Yao expressed his joy and gratitude to the representatives of the Lions Club for the gift of better sight. His uncle also spoke, thanking Special Olympics for the transformation he has seen in his nephew since joining Special Olympics, saying he feels his nephew is in “full bloom.”

The occasion also sparked a stronger relationship between Lions Clubs in the country and Special Olympics. Mr. Iba said he did not know about Special Olympics previously but now that he has seen first-hand the impact it can have on athletes’ lives, he is committed to providing his support at the local level.

UNIQLO is a Japanese casual wear brand for women, men and children, and Asia’s largest retailing shop, with more than 800 stores worldwide. Supakorn will be working at the UNIQLO shop in Central Ladprao Branch, north of Bangkok city. He was introduced at the shop’s staff meeting session on May 27, where he attended orientation, working for four hours. UNIQLO will assign a staff member to be Supakorn’s mentor during first three months to support his duty. His six hour shift will be in the morning, from 7.30 am to 3.00 pm (break time 1.30 hours), working from Monday to Thursday. After Supakorn’s four month work probation, his working hours will be extended to eight hours. On May 31th, Supakorn is scheduled to sign the employment contract and starting work on June 10th. He will also receive the same benefits as other staff.

According to Mrs. Rachaniwan Bulakul, National Director for Special Olympics Thailand: “In Thailand, it is not easy for people with intellectual disabilities (ID) to get a job, simply because employers do not expect a person with ID to be capable of performing any task properly, let alone of being capable of any responsibility. In order for companies to employ disabled persons, they need additional preparation to their organization, for instance building ramps or investing in staff for a buddy-system.”

“For UNIQLO to volunteer this initiative is a boost to Supakorn’s social skills and confidence, allowing him to succeed in life.”

Supakorn graduated at high school level from Rayong Special School. He currently lives with his father and grandmother in Bangkok. He has been involved with Special Olympics Thailand for more than eight years. In 2008, Supakorn received Athlete Leadership Program (ALPs) training, a course that empowers athletes to contribute to the movement and their communities. From ALPs training, Supakorn supports Special Olympics Thailand activities in various roles: Emcee, Volunteer, Public Speaking, athlete escort for Healthy Athletes screening, athlete spokesperson for media and sponsorship meetings. Earlier this year, Supakorn was in Pyeongchang, Korea, competing in snowshoeing for the Special Olympics World Winter Games. These accumulative experiences have increased Supakorn’s confidence and life skills.

“With this pilot project, Special Olympics Thailand aims to recruit more athletes to work with UNIQLO Thailand in Chiang Mai province, by September 2013,” says Mrs. Bulakul. “It is in the process of recruiting athletes for employment, coordinating with UNIQLO’s HR Department to identify the required staff qualities. We select trained ALPs with extensive experience as volunteers and sends athlete resumes to the company. Special Olympics Thailand will continue to support our athletes to get a job and earn income.”

Brina Kei Maxino grew up being encouraged to be “the best Down Syndrome kid that she can be.” After being chosen as one of the Special Olympics Global Youth Ambassadors representing Asia Pacific, she also decided to be “the best Special Olympics Global Youth Ambassador she can be.” Her best during the Special Olympics Global Youth Activation Summit (GYAS) in PyeongChang, South Korea early this year got her elected as a Co-Chair of the next youth summit to be held during the 2015 Special Olympics World Summer Games in Los Angeles, California.

Since her return from Korea in February, Brina has continued her stellar work, helping with one Special Olympics-related event after another – nine R-Word campaigns in international schools, the local US Embassy and disability centers, three inspirational speeches as a Global Youth Ambassador (US Embassy Unified Games, Down Syndrome Happy Walk Program, Pean Academy’s Commencement Exercises), a video report on GYAS 2013 for the Special Olympics Asia Pacific conference, participating in Fast Retailing Ltd. Co.’s meeting on the expanding sponsorship of Special Olympics in Asia Pacific countries, attending the Special Olympics Philippines & Philippines Cricket Association MOA signing, bowling with Filipino athletes, and, most recently, introducing the Get Into It and Young Athletes curricula to faculty and administrators of Colegio San Agustin during its annual Institutional Seminar. All these activities were done in between catching up with school work she missed while attending the GYAS.

During her downtime, Brina is busy and productive as well, striving in many pursuits, like weekly bowling lessons, regular speech and occupational therapy sessions, and emceeing for the Down Syndrome Association events. She is also gaining work experience, joining the McDonalds Kiddie Crew summer workshop and working as a school office assistant. When Brina starts college later this year, she will study A.B. History, with additional units to get a Certificate in General Clerical Skills.

Brina even found time to win the Prom Queen title at a unified prom event, initiated by college students from De La Salle University. And in March, she graduated as Class Valedictorian from her high school!

And there is no stopping her. She and her GYAS youth partner, Sashi Montaña, are working on their GYAS plans for the next Summit. There are also plans to present the Get Into It and Young Athletes curricula to other schools. This May 30, Brina will also be in the follow-up Young Athletes training event at the Euro-German International School. She is eager to be “the best Young Athletes junior coach that she can be” too.

Full speed ahead, Brina! Aim high, and be the best that you can be!

The Unified Girls’ volleyball team in Krusevac, Serbia

In 2012, USAID and Special Olympics partnered to implement Inclusion for All in Serbia and Montenegro. Together, USAID and Special Olympics designed a program to serve as a platform for community education about the abilities of people with intellectual disabilities. Throughout the different aspects of the program, key themes of democratic principles, gender equality and active citizenship are highlighted as being crucial to advancing the rights and opportunities of people with intellectual disabilities.

During the month of March, Inclusion for All reached a new milestone – the completion of 17 capacity building seminars. The seminars, which were well covered by local media, sought to educate the community about people with intellectual disabilities and identify innovative ways to encourage the inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities into the mainstream community through youth outreach. In addition, all participants learned how to create two new Unified Sports® teams in football or basketball as a part of the seminar’s program. These capacity building seminar participants come from many different professions including local officials, teachers from both mainstream and special schools, sports coaches, volunteers, family members and athletes.

Developing Unified Sports® as a part of community education has been an important aspect of this program. A second significant milestone was reached in March for Unified Sports® when the Inclusion for All  program achieved their goal of forming 34 new Unified Sports® teams in basketball, football and volleyball, with girls as 50% of the new recruits. The Unified Sports® programs started through Inclusion for All have not only provided training and competition for youth in Serbia and Montenegro, but also inspired attitudinal change and camaraderie among neighbors. Recently, Ognjen Avramovic, 12, a Unified football partner in Montenegro, spoke to his local coordinator about his teammate, Unified athlete Dragan Paljevic, 13. He said,

“Dragan is my neighbor and I have known him for long time but I never had contact with him.  I only knew him as having an intellectual disability. After a few trainings we already became friends. I visit him in his home and he also comes to my place and I meet him with my family and with my friends from school. I know that we will be friends after this project, probably to the end of life.”

Because of barriers broken down by Inclusion for All through Unified Sports®, people like Dragan and Ognjen are becoming friends after years of passing each other by without so much as a word. Many friendships like theirs have been formed on other Unified Sports® teams in Serbia and Montenegro, creating bonds and changing attitudes among youth that will last into adulthood, long after Inclusion for All is finished.

Teams like the one that Dragan and Ognjen play on practice once a week and participate in a comprehensive competition schedule. Each area has a local coordinator who interacts with athletes, parents and coaches on a regular basis.  On these teams, youth with and without intellectual disabilities are able to learn about each other and overcome stereotypes that prevent the inclusion of individuals with ID in schools, sport clubs and society in general.

Over the course of the program, many Unified Sports® athletes and partners have expressed their enthusiasm for Inclusion for All to their local coordinators. Among the most powerful words demonstrating the program’s impact are those of Unified football partner Valentina Jovanovic, from Kragujevac, Serbia, who told her local coordinator,

“I am very happy to be on this team! I have never spent much time with another girl who went to a special school, and I never thought that I would play sports on a same team with them, but it is absolutely brilliant. I have made so many new friends, and I am learning how to play football. What can be better than this?”

The Inclusion for All project comes to a close in February 2014.

Hi, my name is Ben Haack.  I’m an Athlete Leader from Australia.  I have been involved in Special Olympics for fourteen years.  I have Aspergers, which is commonly known as ASD.  I’m writing about a very powerful commodity in Special Olympics and that’s called Empathy.

The usual method I use to bring about Empathy is to tell people of what my life was like before I joined Special Olympics.

Where should I start?

The first sixteen years of my life usually horrify people.  I’ll start with the worst day of my life.

A day before that worst day, I got my nose broken by a kid on the bus.  I fought back and beat him up pretty badly.

The next day, I went back to school and faced up to my fate.  The thing is, that kid was in a grade lower than me, which meant that there would be hell to pay.  I actually had to convince my family I can go to school, seeing as my nose was in bad shape and they knew that it was likely I would get beaten up badly.

Well, come lunchtime it was on.  I was eating lunch with a few people when a group of about six or seven students jumped me.  They held me as they hit me repeatedly in the face and stomach.  Well, I got so fed with this that I fought back again.  I managed to throw five of them off me, before I smacked this kid hard and threw him against the door.  I then turned around only to get fly kicked in the face!

Lunchtime finished and I went to class.  I sat in the classroom, bleeding profusely, my shirt ripped, and with a really good black eye!

I was called up to the principal’s office at the end of the day.  I went down to the office, full of dread.  Well, the principal proceeded to give one of those lectures where you feel very small and weak.  He then ended it with the line:  ‘I’m going to make your life a living hell!”

Well something changed in me at that moment.  I proceeded to tell him to shove that up somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine!  He then repeated the same line.  I then said that never in a million years could he do anything to make my life any worse than it already was.  I then proceeded to go through it with him, how suspending me would mean I would not get beaten up, how giving me detention would mean I was in a safe place, how making me do gardening or running laps would also mean I was in a safe place, etc.

Well, I’m fully convinced that was the day I got diagnosed.  I believe that this day put me onto the path of becoming the person I’m today.

But here’s the important bit.  This is not about me.  This is about the fact that in every country in the world, there are people out there who are getting treated this way or worse.  There are a lot of young men, in particular, who also get thrown around every school in their area and quite often end up being home schooled. And there are an awful lot of people like me who end up in prison, the Psych Ward, homeless, oron drugs.

I know this, because I work with a lot of young men who are going through this, and I have seen some of the research that is out there on Aspergers, ADD, ADHD, ODD.  In other words, people in the ASD spectrum.

Now when I got diagnosed, the stats read that there was one of me to every 1000 people.  Now in Australia it reads one of me to every 100 people.  In America it’s 1 to 88, and Korea 1 to 66!  So, what do you expect is going to happen to the vast majority of these people, who from the moment there are placed in mainstream school, get an education, in abuse, disrespect, neglect?  This usually leaves them with anger management, suicidal tendencies, and mental health issues!  Now, of course that’s if they even get to go to school.

So you see you’re not going to help people like me if the vast majority of Special Olympics programs are based in special schools.  We need to expand somehow, no matter how difficult.

This is why we have to be fearless and relentless.  For me, the reminder of why I have to dig up my worst moments, because I truly don’t want to, is when I work with people with ASD and I get to see them come to the program with black eyes, how they get suspended all the time, how they get shifted to different schools all the time, or there at home doing nothing, being nothing, because the world is saying that is what they are!

Now I know I’ve so far only talked about one disability so far, which some would consider a mistake, but we all have a point of reference, somewhere where we start.

Believe me; people with Down syndrome and Autism don’t exactly have the whole world as their oyster neither.

So, remember that if we can get the Politicians to get their Politician’s hat off, if we can get the Teachers to take their Teacher’s hat off, if we can get the Carers, Psychologists, Nurses, wider world, etc to take their hats off and put on the hat of being a parent, brother of sister and looked at the world of disability from that point of view, then believe me, things will change.

You see, what I’m trying to do is to be more than just about myself and what I’ve been through.  I’m trying to use that to remind people of the power of empathy, which simply means putting yourself in that person’s position and asking yourself: ‘How would I feel?”  If we can get people to successfully do this, then watch what happens.

It’s not an easy assignment doing this, but if we use our athletes and their stories correctly, if we empower them to have a voice, if we truly make this an athlete centred movement, then we have that commodity, empathy, we just need to bring that out of others!  So, bring on the Athletes!

“He had toothaches, was in a lot of pain and said he was dizzy,” said Kenny’s mother, Shirley. “He told me he thought he was going to die.”

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare to see a child in pain. It’s even worse when you can’t make them feel better. It wasn’t until Kenny went to the State Summer Games in June 2012 that volunteer dentists screened his oral health at Special Smiles, a Special Olympics Healthy Athletes® discipline which seeks to improve, through better health, each athlete’s ability to train and compete.

During the event, Kenny was flagged as needing urgent dental care. Three weeks later, SOWI teamed up with the Wisconsin Dental Association (WDA) and WDA Foundation to provide free critical dental care to Kenny at the WDA Mission of Mercy, an event that helps people like Kenny who have limited financial resources or are unable to visit a dental office.

It was at Mission of Mercy that dentists extracted 12 of Kenny’s teeth with hopes of providing dentures in 12 months if they had healed.

“It is difficult for anyone to lose so many teeth. There are social and psychological aspects to take into consideration, but after discussing the options and expectations to Kenny, we were able to see that he would be able to tolerate this,” said Dr. Kyle Menne, who performed the extractions. “Replacing these teeth with removable prosthetic teeth is important to help improve his esthetics, chewing function, etc.”

In April, Kenny returned to the dentist for the first time since his extractions when he visited Special Smiles in April. That’s where he had a surprise encounter.

“He got to see to see the very same dentist who performed the teeth extractions at Mission of Mercy!” exclaimed Shirley.

“It was very important that we were able to see Kenny at this April’s Special Smiles event because we were able to follow up with him to see how he was doing,” said Dr. Menne. According to Dr. Menne, Kenny should be able to receive dentures on his top teeth at the Mission of Mercy event this June.

“It just scares me thinking about what could have happened if he hadn’t found out about Healthy Athletes and Mission of Mercy,” said Shirley. “He probably could have died his teeth hurt so badly. I think about that a lot.”

Matt Fitzgibbons and family (left); Becky Walley and family (right)

On April 17, Special Olympics Wisconsin (SOWI) families and their community members gathered to broaden their knowledge of health and wellness and learn more about the support SOWI provides to people with intellectual disabilities (ID) at a Family Health Forum in Sparta. For Matthew Fitzgibbons, a Army/Reserve, Master Sergeant, and Equal Opportunity Advisor, and Sexual Assault Response Coordinator for the Fort McCoy Garrison, the Family Health Forum was a great educational opportunity for his whole family.

“The main reason [I went to] the Family Health Forum was to educate and open my kids eyes to those with intellectual disabilities and also to have us, as a family, volunteer,” he said.

SOWI offered a variety of activities and learning opportunities, including a session about Sensory Processing Disorder led by Niki Froelke, COTA/L and owner of Sensory Lovin’ Momma in La Crosse. Youth and individuals with ID in attendance discussed the Spread the Word to End the Word™ campaign (which seeks to eliminate the use of word “retard” or “retarted”) and helped brainstorm activities to engage youth at Fort McCoy’s upcoming summer camp.

For Becky Walley, a Child, Youth, and School Services Outreach Director, School Liaison Officer and mother of two, the R-word discussion was very beneficial. “I thought it would be a good experience for my older child to get involved and learn about helping/supporting the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign,” she said.

“My kids had educated me earlier in the year when I did use the R-word, so it was good that there was education on that subject at the forum,” agreed Fitzgibbons.

Walley and Fitzgibbons both agree it is important for military families to be aware of the resources SOWI provides.

“The military is not immune to intellectual disabilities. Education and providing lines of support benefits everyone,” said Fitzgibbons.